How I Busted My Nose Open at the Grocery Store- Or, Why Being a Doctor Doesn't Necessarily Mean that You're Smart

-
My husband, Mansoor, and I were discussing a few weeks ago how sad it was that we essentially gave up entertaining after the birth of our first child (nearly 4 years ago!). We determined that in order to convince our friends that we're not horrible mooches, we really should invite people over more often.

That was the conversation that begat the onslaught of weekly dinner parties stretching from February 7th to March 7th.

So while Mansoor distracted son #1 at the zoo, I took the baby with me to the grocery store to pick up some supplies. This was my first mistake (I make quite a few in this story- we'll keep count, just for kicks).

Baby's snoozing- so not wanting to wake him, I elect not to remove him from the carseat. Rather, mommygenius decides to maneuver the entire gigantic plastic bucket baby holder into the grocery cart. Carseat + baby = 23 lbs. (mistake #2)

OK- let's get these foodstuffs quickly, before baby wakes up! Oops... grocery cart already full of baby and his bulky crash protection- guess the food will have to go on the tiny little shelf under the cart. (mistake #3)

Oh no- baby's awake (and hungry, to boot)! Until this moment, I never realized that there are no places to sit inside a grocery store... no "give your feet a rest" benches, no "take a load off" chairs, and definitely no "nurse your screaming infant here" seats. That's OK, we made it to the checkout line- only a few minutes and we'll be on our way. Quickly, quickly... get those groceries onto the conveyor. (mistake #4)

Bend down, grab the chicken, lift head- SMACK! between the eyes on the cart handlebar! THUD! onto still conveniently padded derriere! Room spinning, head pounding, baby still screaming, little old lady behind me saying "Sweetheart, you're bleeding...", you've got to be kidding, and I still have to make enchiladas suizas tonight!

Still a little woozy, and more than a little confused- I managed to make it back to the car (did have to ask for help pushing that second cartful of groceries- baby filled up the first one, remember?). On the way back, the bagboy actually asked if I was going to sue them! :)

Once I stopped the bleeding and regained my composure and bearings, we made it safely back home so I could feed my wailing little angel. I finally get him out of the car, and wouldn't you know it- fast asleep.

Next time, I'm using Peapod.

Comments

Post a Comment

Thanks for taking the time to comment on this blog's posts! Let's keep the discussion engaging and free of frivolous advertising or vulgarity. It's a family show, folks!

Popular posts from this blog

The Grotesquely Swollen Apple of My Eye- What to do When Bugs Attack Your Child's Face

-
Image
Son #2 woke up this morning looking like a streetfighter! Dramatic swelling of the eye(s) such as this can occur for a variety of reasons: 1. Allergic reaction to ingested food or drug (generally affects both eyes) 2. Direct contact with environmental allergen or food allergen (can affect one or both eyes) 3. Hereditary or acquired angioedema (can affect one or both eyes) 4. Injury (usually affects one eye) 5. Low protein levels (generally affects both eyes) 6. Infection (generally affects one eye) 7. Insect bite (can affect one or both eyes) In this case, my little one endured a mosquito bite at the outer corner of his left eye yesterday afternoon.  It was mildly swollen at the time, and became progressively worse as the night wore on. Does this mean he has a mosquito allergy? Actually, no more than anyone else.  Certain areas of skin, such as around the eyes and on the lips, are more loosely attached to underlying tissues and muscles than skin elsewhere on the body.  Thi
Read more

Keratosis Pilaris - Or, Why My Kid Looks Like a Plucked Chicken

-
Image
The skin is the body's largest organ. The condition of the skin is, in many ways, a window into our internal health. Therefore, it is only natural that people become immediately concerned by rashes. We often neglect our own elevated blood pressure, achey joints, or other ailments. The onset of a new rash, on the other hand, can quickly lead to a call to the doctor. Interestingly, there is one rash I see in my practice which rarely causes alarm among patients and parents. In fact, it is common for a parent to state, "Oh, that? His sister has that too. In fact, so do I!" Keratosis Pilaris is a common, heritable disorder which results in small bumps consisting of accumulated skin cells and keratin at the sites of hair follicles. It is especially common in people who have a history of allergies. Although it can be mildly itchy, the rash generally does not cause discomfort. Commonly described as "gooseflesh", keratosis pilaris can be a concern cosmetically, lea
Read more

Why Drug Allergies Matter (Or Why Penicillin Allergy is Responsible for My Son's Lopsided Neck)

-
Image
My 6 year son old just got over a rite of passage - strep throat and scarlet fever. Unfortunately, before we could even celebrate his recovery, I noticed a swelling on the left side of his neck. It was red and tender, and it was GROWING. The pediatrician in me worried, "Damn. Lymphadenitis (infected lymph node)". No sooner had we finished one course of antibiotics than we were onto another, and the side effects were bad enough to keep him out of school for another three days. Why did my munchkin suffer so? My answer: Drug allergy. Group A streptococcal bacteria (the cause of strep throat and scarlet fever) is remarkably sensitive to penicillin. Penicillin is the first choice treatment for strep throat, and has been proven to reduce the risk of developing rheumatic fever, a post-infectious complication which can result in chronic heart disease. Problem is, my son is allergic to antibiotics in the penicillin family. At 11 months of age (8 days into his second ever co
Read more